I am the Queen of My Own Twisted Little World

I'm Only 12

2007-06-11T15:11:42Z

hahaha! i'm just amused at how gullible some people are. like this morning, we went to this store in ATC..

sales lady (to my mom) : ma'am, kapatid nyo po?

mama : hinde, panganay ko yan.

sales lady : ha? anak nyo po?? siguro 17 pa lang si ma'am nung nanganak.

mama : hindi naman.. 12 lang yan, mukha lang mature.

sales lady : ay 12 pa lang?! early bloomer sya, dalagang-dalaga na. wow, may dalaga na si ma'am.

..er, seriously?! wahahaha! laugh trip

Random Stuff You Don't Know About Me

2007-05-25T11:50:56Z

i'm supposed to write only 7 facts but this is kinda fun so...

i have 4 siblings in all. some friends already know this but most people don't 'cause when i'm asked how many brothers or sisters i have, i usually say i have only 2 to spare me the "hassle" of having to explain the rather complicated situation. ok, it's not really that complicated.. but the fact that it needs explaining means that it's not simple either. see, it's like this.. technically, i am an only child 'cause i'm the only child my mom & dad had together. my parents divorced when i was still very young. both of them remarried and now have families of their own. my mom and tito Gary (stepdad) has 2 kids, Gabo & Pei-Pei. my dad and tita Maricar (stepmom) also has 2 kids, Justin & Jayben. and since i live with my mom and Gabo & Pei-Pei are the ones people usually see me with, i say there are only 3 of us.

i didn't attend my high school graduation 'cause i made a promise to my mom that i would no longer get grades lower than 80 that of course, i failed to keep.

i didn't attend my college graduation simply because i didn't feel like going. hahaha! who the heck "doesn't feel like going" to her college graduation, right?! haha! i dunno.. super hassle and nakakatamad kasi. there'd be like thousands of us graduating which meant long hours of waiting in my seat for my name to be called so i can go up on stage for no longer than 5 minutes and the principal (or whoever) can hand me some rolled up, ribboned piece of paper which i have to pretend is my diploma. what a waste of good make-up, time, energy, not to mention, a very costly tank of gas.

i have this habit of playing with my hair. just now, i realized that i usually do it whenever my left hand is free.. when i'm thinking or when i'm watching TV. i usually only play with my hair with both hands when i'm watching tv. sometimes i just twirl my hair in my fingers. other times, i grab a bundle and brush it against my face, kinda like putting on make up. i've been doing it since i was a kid. i had really short hair then so it was usually my mom's hair that i play with until i fall asleep. i dunno, i guess i like the prickly feeling of hair on my face. haha! weird, i know. i'm trying to get rid of it.

i can eat like 10 or even more thick slices of bread in one sitting and still have room for chips or even a full course meal. haha, talk about pigging out! ;p

i have a birthmark on my left knee and another on my right forearm. the one on my arm though, you'd have to look really closely to notice 'cause it's very light.

i drink a glass of cold milk every night.

i am allergic to dust and the plastic part of feminine pads so my pads have to be all cotton or else i get itchy all over. hahaha! way too much detail? ;p

i put facial moisturizer on my butt. haha! betcha didn't know that! ;D

i clean my room myself. and i'm not just talking about making my bed and fixing my abubots. i'm talking disinfection and everything.

i have indian, chinese, spanish & of course, filipino blood running through my veins. my lolo's dad is pure chinese and his mom's pure spanish (or is it the other way around?? haha). and my lola's dad is pure indian and her mom is pure filipino.

one rainy morning, i went #2 in the first floor comfort room of PNU's library. wahahahaha!

a cockroach once brought me to tears. hahaha! see, i was taking a bath when i saw this cockroach on the bathroom door. i didn't have clothes on and i was so scared the friggin' thing would fly and land on me. i wanted to run out but it was on the door so how could i. i kept calling for my mom who was downstairs at the time (i was in the upstairs bathroom) but she couldn't hear me so i started to cry. then our maid showed up and squished the damn icky thing. they were laughing at me of course. f-ing roaches. gross! wahaha! stupid.

i never say a guy is sexy. i don't find guys sexy. i find some guys cute or handsome or "macho" but never sexy. i don't know why. i don't get how guys are sexy and so i don't find any of them sexy. i get how women are sexy though.

when i was a kid, my mom used to have my hair cut really, really short (alam nyo ung gupit na siyete? ganun!) when i'm not a good girl.

i am a dreamer. i daydream a lot! like on long rides or when i can't sleep at night, i make up little fantasies in my head and just imagine myself living them. makes me feel better and helps me get to sleep.

..can't think of anything more at the moment..

Jordin Sparks Won?!

2007-05-25T06:12:30Z

wtf?! that is just SO TYPICAL, America! i mean, first you take out Melinda Dolittle who, in the history of American Idol, is the only contestant who got all praises from Simon all throughout the competition. who in the world could be more American Idol material than that??!! age over performance?? major disappointment, although not much of a shocker there. like i said, SO TYPICAL!

don't get me wrong, i'm not exactly a Blake Lewis fan myself (i was actually surprised that it was he who got in the final 2 and not Melinda) but i'd rather have him holding the title than Jordin. OK, so Jordin's a good singer 'cause she can hit high notes without glasses shattering but so can Blake! besides, Jordin never really stood out for me. yeah, she's above average yet still so ordinary. she's just OK *period. Blake though, is an equally good if not an even better singer. did you see his This Love number? amazing! although i have to admit, at some point there he did sound like some trying hard promdi with the lyrics.. still, it was a remarkable performance which earned him praises even from Mr. Simon Cowell. fact is, Blake's not just a singer, he's a PERFORMER. plus, he's got "extra features" which none of the former contenders in this season have offered --he can dance and do beatbox (which i actually find a bit gross 'cause he tends to spit on the mic but hey, that's talent). and he's cute to boot! probably the next Justin Timberlake.

i guess we should give credit to whatever brand of toothpaste Jordin uses to help her charm people into thinking that she's something else. no offense to her fans. this is like season 4 all over again! *i was so counting on Bo to win then but then Carrie did. aw.. but i love Carrie.Ü

i dunno if i'm ranting 'cause Jordin won and not Blake or if really it's because Melinda didn't. either way, i know this is stupid. haha! anyway... looking forward to season 7. especially the laugh trip auditions! hahaha! ;D

Jack is Back! Arr!

2007-05-24T12:29:13Z

aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! we've finally seen it! after months of waiting.. OMG!!
i ♥ JOHNNY DEPP!!!

OK, you have been warned.

within the 2.5 hours...

Chow Yun Fat or Capt. what's-his-name, the feared pirate lord from Singapore, dies.
Before his last breath, he makes Elizabeth Swan captain of his ship & crew, making her one of the 9 pirate lords.
Of course, Jack Sparrow is brought back from Davy Jones' locker (well, we all knew that's gonna happen).
MUCH treachery is to be expected --pirates will be pirates.
The witch (remember the woman who brought Capt. Barbosa back from the dead?) is actually the sea goddess Calypso, who's been trapped in human form by the 9 pirate lords many, many years ago.
Calypso is actually Davy Jones' love and lover. shocker, eh?
Elizabeth Swan is elected pirate king (the 9 pirate lords had a vote & since each voted only her/himself, no one has been elected pirate king in years. but things change when Sparrow votes for Elizabeth instead of himself.)
Captain Barbosa releases Calypso from her human body.
Elizabeth and Will is married by Captain Barbosa amidst sword fights on the Black Pearl.
They kiss and surprisingly, no one attacks them as they do.
Jack gets hold of Davy Jones' beating heart and threatens to put a knife right through it but he hesitates.
Davy Jones stabs Will on the chest.
Bootstrap attacks him and in the middle of their fist (or claw or whatever) fight, Will stabs Davy Jones' heart, sending captain tentacles to his own locker.
The Flying Dutchman cannot be without a captain and since Will's the one who slayed Davy Jones, he shall command the Flying Dutchman for eternity (until someone kills him, of course) and transport souls lost at sea to the other world.
Captain Barbosa commits mutiny again and runs, er, sails off with the Black Pearl (again. LOL), leaving Jack and Mr. Gibbs on some port.
Jack sails off in his tiny boat (with pirate sails and everything. LOL) in pursuit of the Fountain of Youth. oh, i forgot to mention that Elizabeth's father & James Norrington dies somewhere in the middle of the film.
THE END.

well, they aren't called SPOILERS for nothing. haha! ;)

Beautiful Friends

2007-05-23T13:04:41Z

oh yes, i have such gorgeous friends. well, ya know what they say, birds of the same feathers flock together. harhar.. grabbed these pics off their friendster profiles. total EYE CANDIES! take your pick. ;D

arranged in no particular order. & ooh, don't forget to comment! Ü

♥ click on the pics for larger views ♥

this is what happens when boredom kicks in. haha!
Oh no, you can NOT leave without commenting & please include your name when you do ♥

At World's End

2007-05-23T06:17:32Z

OMG!!! Pirates of the Carribbean 3 is now showing in 4 cinemas at the Town! Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!! I'm uber excited! I'm getting friggin' goosebumps! Akin si Johnny Depp so back off! Arr! OK, I'm hallucinating again. LOL.

Jack: Did no one come to save me just because they missed me? *Monkey raises its hand* LMFAO. This movie is totally gonna kick some serious ass!

The Uncomfortable Survey

2007-05-23T05:40:22Z

'cause i'm not scared of my past.. harhar!

1. Longest relationship? The one that I'm in right now --a year and a month (on the 28th. yihee! haha) and I'm counting on it to last even longer.. Hihi..Ü

2. Shortest relationship? Hm... A month..? Gosh, I can't remember. Haha! But yeah, I think it was a month.

3. How many boyfriends did you have? Well, my current is my 6th.

4. You said "I love you" to _______ and meant it? Rod ♥

5. Have you ever loved someone so much? Yes. So much.Ü

6. Have you ever made a boyfriend cry? Hahaha! Yeah, I have. Just 'cause I'm laughing doesn't mean I'm proud of it. i dunno, it's just funny now that I think about it. Haha! ;p

7. Are you happier single or in a relationship? Hm.. Truth be told, I am, by nature, a very dependent person. Tsk! Tsk! I can't even remember anymore what it feels like to be single and honestly, I don't want to. Haha! I am happy now, with him and I want things to stay the way that they are right now. Aw...Ü Haha!

8. Have you ever been cheated on? Fortunately, never. Gosh, that must hurt. Thank God, I run into pretty "decent" guys. Haha! ;p

9. Talk to any of your exes? Um, just one of them. The others, I don't talk to because either they want to get back together with me (seriously) or I just don't "feel" them *and/or vice versa. Haha!

10. If you could go back in time and change things so you could still be with one of your exes, would you? NO. I mean, there are things in the past that I'd want to change but not so I could still be with any of them. I love Rod and he is the only one I want to be with ♥

11. Think any of your exes feel the same way? Um, feel what?? Haha!

12. Do you regret anything that you've done with a boyfriend? Yes.

13. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? I believe so.

14. Believe in love at first sight? Hahaha! No. That's just bull (for me). How could you possibly truly love some stranger?? Come on...

15. Ever dated two people at the same time? Oh, yeah. Hahaha! Hey, I was young and so full of flattery, OK? Haha!

16. Ever been given an engagement ring? No. But some of them did kinda propose. Haha! Aw.. They loved me that much and I loved them enough to kinda say yes. Hahaha! So silly..

17. Do you want to get married at this moment? Haha, that would be fun. But no, I don't plan to get married anytime soon. There are so much more I want to do with my life before I even think of walking down the aisle.

18. Ever stolen someone's boyfriend? Hm.. Well, not technically. Hahaha! I mean, it wasn't my fault the guy was such an asshole, going after one of his girlfriend's friends.

19. Ever liked someone else's boyfriend? Haha, yeah! Can't help it if the guy's hot. Haha!

20. Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? Worse. I know so. But of course, like everything else, you'll learn to let go and get over it. Then at some point in your life, you'll look back and realize how stupid it was for you to feel that way and just laugh at yourself. Haha! Ü

Testimonial

2007-05-22T14:11:35Z

from Him. kahit kelan talaga am panget mo! hahaha. labyu tae!

Thinking of Someone?

2007-05-22T13:37:52Z

"Scientists have proven that human minds are linked with each other through neuron activities. So if you're thinking of someone all day long without any reason at all, he/she is thinking of you too."

-Time Magazine

Happy Mother's Day

2007-05-22T09:48:49Z

the day started out as how it usually does on Sundays. Mama, Tito Gary, Gabo, Pei-Pei and I got up early, got dressed and drove off to ATC. it was only about half past 9 when we got there so the mall was still closed. we waited in Starbucks for BreadTalk to open which did at 10. I bought us our usual Sunday breakfast: BreadTalk's Hot Chick and our choice of Starbucks beverages --a grande mocha frap for me, banana java chip for Tito Gary and a regular latte for Mama (warm, non-fat milk, no foam) to be specific. hehe.

at around 11 AM, tito Gary got a text message from Mommy (my lola), saying they're all eating out and leaving our new maid, Faith, alone in the house. since our help's new and all, tito Gary told Mommy to lock all the doors before they leave and so she did. they were already near ATC (I think) when my lola noticed that she'd left the keys inside her locked bedroom. uh-oh! haha. anyway... back to us. we were still in Starbucks at the time. 30 minutes later, tito Gary and Gabo were off to the cinemas to watch Spiderman 3. Mama, Pei-Pei and I, on the other hand, decided to have lunch at North Park in South Supermarket.

It's Mother's Day, so of course, all the restos were packed. fortunately, we were able to grab good, comfy seats. but the place was super crowded, the food took forever to be served and it wasn't even any good! we've eaten there like a hundred times before and the food has never been as unsatisfactory (to be polite) as it was today. nonetheless, we stuffed ourselves and afterwards, dessert! i ordered the mango tapioca which was uber yummy! it's one of Rod's faves and he's been telling me to try it but i keep forgetting. he reminded me when i told him where we were having lunch. haha. after that, we decided to head back to ATC.

there was this family seated at the table beside ours and they had like 10 kids. wow! and the kids were all still young, the eldest was probably only 11 or something.. imagine that! anyway, their little baby was looking at me so i smiled and waved at him (or her. whatever, i'm not quite sure. haha) as i was getting off my seat. the dad looked at me and smiled back. still all smiles at the little cutie, i stood up and as i did, i friggin' slipped! omg it was so embarassing! good thing the dad still had his eyes on me so he caught me by the arm and saved my ass from hitting that wet floor (not to mention, me from further embarassment). i tried to get up and catch my balance but i couldn't so i slipped again! the dad saved me yet another time. f*ck my chucks and that damn floor! good thing most of the people there were so caught up in their own business so probably only a handful saw the little stunt i pulled off (twice!) i didn't even get to thank the dad.. i and my scarred poise had to get out of there ASAP!

A Letter from Dad

2007-05-22T06:44:07Z

Minamahal kong anak,

Medyo mabagal akong mag type ngayon dahil alam kong mabagal kang magbasa. Nandito na kami sa Amerika para tirahan ang bagong bili na bahay. Pero hindi ko maibigay sa iyo ang address dahil dinala ng dating nakatira ang number para daw hindi na sila magpapalit ng address. Maganda ang lugar na ito at malayo sa Manila. Dalawang beses lang umulan sa linggong ito, tatlong araw noong una at apat na araw noong pangalawa.

Nakakainis lang ang mga paninda dito katulad nung nabili ko na shampoo, ayaw bumula. Nakasulat FOR DRY HAIR kaya hindi ko binabasa ang buhok ko pag ginagamit ko. Mamaya ay ibabalik ko sa tindahan at magrereklamo ako.

Noong isang araw naman ay hindi ako makapasok sa bahay dahil ayaw bumukas ng padlock. Nakasulat kasi ay YALE, eh aba namalat na ako sa kasisigaw ay hindi pa din bumubukas. Magrereklamo din ako sa nagbenta ng bahay, akala nila hindi ko alam na SIGAW ang tagalog ng YALE, wise yata ito!

Mayroon nga pala akong nabili na magandang jacket at tiyak na magugustuhan mo. Ipinadala ko na sa iyo sa dahil medyo mahal daw dahil mabigat ang mga botones kaya ang ginawa ko ay tinanggal ko na lang ang mga botones at inilagay ko na lang sa bulsa ng jacket. Ikabit mo na lang pag dating diyan.

Nagpadala rin ako ng tseke para sa mga nasalanta ng bagyo, hindi ko na pinirmahan dahil gusto ko na maging anonymous donor. Ang kapatid mo palang si Jhun ay may trabaho na dito, mayroon siyang 500 na tao na under sa kanya. Nag-gugupit siya ngayon ng damo sa memorial park, okey naman ang kita above minimum ang sahod.

Nakapanganak na rin pala ang ate baby mo, hindi ko pa alam k g babae o lalake kaya hindi ko pa masasabi na kung ikaw ay bagong uncle or auntie. Isa pa nga pala, babalik ako diyan sa Oktubre pero naguguluhan ako. Di ba yung Victory Liner, BLTB Liner, Pascual Liner at Alfonso Liner ay mga pampasaherong bus. Yung Panty Liner, bus din ba yun? Saan ba ang Terminal nila?

At saka nga pala, me nag-interview sa akin diyan at nakalimutan kong banggitin sa iyo taga Magandang Umaga Bayan daw siya at nakunan ako sa TV ang tanong sa akin ay ano raw sa salitang english ang Kulangot. Di ko nasagot... ikaw anak, alam mo?

Wala na akong masyadong balita. Sumulat ka na lang ng madalas ha.

Love,
Tatay

P.S. Maglalagay sana ako ng pera kaya lang ay naisara ko na ang envelope. Next time na lang ha.

Bitching

2007-05-22T06:37:42Z

something's wrong.. with ME.. with my life.. i don't know what exactly, but something is definitely, terribly wrong. it's like everything in my life is getting all screwed up and so i'm getting all screwed up! i'm getting to be such a nagger (when i'm with him, mostly). a selfish.. nagging.. little bitch.. always demanding... always complaining... and demanding some more.. most of the time, i don't even know what i want.. i just know i want something.. a lot of things, actually. and when i finally figure out what that something is, he gives it to me and suddenly i don't want that anymore and i ask for something else. god, i'm an annoying bitch! what the hell's happening to me?! i hate this! i hate how this "phase" that i'm in right now is affecting me! i'm turning into the kind of person that i hate so much. you know, the one in chick flicks that everyone despises. even i wouldn't want to be around me. who'd want to be with someone who selfishly wants and asks for so much?! i deserve to be ran over by a big yellow school bus.. or whacked on the head with a hammer or a baseball bat.. or pushed off a hundred-storey building.. anything to snap me back to who i was!

maybe it's 'cause i'm bored.. so bored.. or maybe it's the heat.. maybe the heat's getting to me..

or maybe i'm just tired.. tired of almost always being told what to do and what to become.. tired of not being able to do what i want unless it's what she wants and constantly telling myself that it's for my own benefit anyway.. tired of forcing myself to like something that i really don't just to make her happy.. tired of letting my hopes up and counting on her words.. tired of getting my heart broken again and again, when i realize at the last minute that she had no intention of keeping her word in the first place..

i know, it's partly my fault.. i have my flaws.. but do i really deserve this much?

i know what you're thinking. stand up and speak out, right? well, yeah, that would work...if this was some telenovela where the chained-up little girl would finally realize that she's had enough and protest.. then some stupid, dramatic song would play in the background and they'd end up hugging and apologizing to each other, all teary-eyed and shit. let's face it people, this is REAL LIFE. and in real life, all i'd get for pulling a stunt like that would be a smack on the face. now that would really put the cherry on top of my fabulous life, eh?

what will i do now, you ask? well, what can i do? you can't help me. no one can help me. even i can't help me.

WAIT. wait all this shit out.

in the meantime, i've got to stop being such a self-centered bitch.. it's not fair to him. i can't let this crap get the better of me! i've got to find my happy place...